Justice League

I am a Marvel girl through and through. Nothing has brought this home more than spending two hours of my life watching the impoverish efforts of six DC heroes, well 5 apparent heroes and one guy with a lot of money. Many, many franchises have followed the adventures of Batman and Superman and we have recently seen Wonder Woman appear on our screens again after a sabbatical, with a series about The Flash and the revival of Aqua Man, but this latest reunion of the Justice League is a horrible waste of time.

Before going to see this I did however catch up on the lead up movies, which didn’t give me that much hope for this being that great. As this is so new out, I won’t run through the plot, though to be honest there isn’t much of one anyway.

Ben Affleck’s Batman really does leave a lot to be desired, portrayed as an ageing Bruce Wayne, it’s difficult to see why he is running around a city trying to fight crime when he could have been at home enjoying a nice cup of cocoa with Alfred. Portrayed by Jeremy Irons, who appears to have morphed the characters of Alfred and Luscious together to form neither a butler, nor a tech genius, rather just a smug companion who can play with cool things.

Gal Gadot, really doesn’t strike me as an Amazonian, and while I appreciate Wonder Woman was suppose to encompass the fierce warrior and the feminine wiles, I find the way she is brought across in this franchise way too apologetic and less battle mistress and more librarian.

The Flash (Ezra Miller), is shown as a socially awkward misfit. Now, from my recollection of The Flash he was supposed to be a bit of a genius, yet in this, he seems to step aside and leave the Cyborg (Ray Fisher) to do all the thinking, so that he can stand on the side and worry about all the things that frighten him. I’m really not sure if Zack Snyder was trying to give each of the heroes a human element or not, but honestly, if I’m watching a film based on a comic book, I really want my heroes to have the balls they were created with.

Superman (Henry Cavill) is dead….or is he? In a not so clever plot twist we see the resurrection of the combination of all super heroes and Superman rise from the dead. I have to say he recovers pretty quickly from this traumatic affair as well, which is lucky as the others simply are bumbling through the issues that Earth is having until Superman joins in at the close.

I have left Aqua man, the delicious Jason Momoa, to the last, as for me he really made this film bearable. Not for his acting talents or amazing abilities, but simply because he is a great piece of eye candy. Who could resist the rippling muscles and gruff voice…he really doesn’t need to act, they could just show him walking around his lounge for two hours and I think they would be able to pull the audiences in. Despite that, he is the only one of the characters with a bit of humour and sarcasm about him, which probably assisted in my fascination that little bit more. I will say, for a dude that is supposed to be master of the waves, he only really utilised this ability once, then was just a punchy guy with a fork.

Now I come to the villain….Steppenwolf (Ciarán Hinds) the toy makers dream as he already looks like a poorly made child’s toy, so no matter how bad the action figures turn out for this guy, they will still probably look like him. He has no real talent apart from having a swarm of big like things with him and a really blunt axe. I was super impressed at how poorly the axe performed against the Amazonians, as when it was swung at one riding a horse, did it take the horses legs off…no. Did it behead the woman rising the horse….no…it just knocked them over, which begs the question, why are you lugging around that bloody great axe, when you’re about 15 foot tall and could have just kicked the woman off her horse?

So we have a bunch of super heroes who don’t really use their abilities to the best of their uses, fighting a 15 foot plastic toy…that is probably the long and short of this film. It is fraught with awkward moments of the team finding their feet and poor humour.

The costumes and sets all look a bit like the snap chat filters have been out, with the exception of Batman who, even with his mask on looks a bit old and haggard. It was incredibly convenient through how all the recruits had their own outfits.

This film, for me, was really just an abomination. A lack lustre script, changes to character which shouldn’t have happened and superheroes who forgot they have abilities. I urge you not to waste your time on this film unless you are a real DC fan and have the ability to forgive.

Just to lighten this post, I’m going to end with a picture of Jason Momoa, as with out him, this might have been the first film I have walked out of a cinema for…

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