The Secrets of Emily Blair

Now… before I write this one, there is something you guys should know about me… I love really shite films.  I love watching them and talking to them as I watch them, wondering why the director bothered to get up in the morning while working on this, or if the actors felt that this was going to be their next big break.  So please consider this a form of public service… me watching the films and writing about how unbelievably terrible they are so you don’t have to waste your hard earned free time on them unless you really just like talking to the telly as much as I do…

So with that out the way, I guess you can very easily tell how I feel about this film without having to read the rest of this post. Honestly this is a terrible film.

Premise:- boy and girl get engaged, girl works in a hospital and gets possessed while tending to a homeless guy, she then displays “possessed” behaviour, kills her best friend, her mother in law to be (well I guess we have all wanted to do that at some point), and only after witnessing her possession does her supposed ever loving boyfriend realise there is something wrong.  There is a priest who isn’t sure he believes, one who has been cast out of the church for performing excorcisms and a series of unfortunate cops who die along the way.   The preist ends up taking the rap for the murders so that the “happy couple” can continue to live their happy lives once the demon has been expelled.  This is not before the priests have a punch up and the possessed Emily takes a gun off of a cop, punches it in to the cops stomach and then shoots the cop from the inside out… (seriously it’s the best 45 seconds of the film).

It’s hard to believe that this generic horror movie was made in 2016.  It has poor graphics (I could have done better with an etch a scetch), and the acting is mediocre at best.

I’m seriously disappointed in Colm Meaney for appearing as Father Avital in this film… he’s been in a lot of things and this feels like a real low point for him.  I hope for his sake that 2017 yields better appearances for him as I would hate to remember him for just this terrible role.

This has stolen elements of many possession films that has come before this, but if you really want to see a women battle with a guy in a styrofoam suit, please please do watch and let me know what you thought.